Infertility: A Parent’s Experience That Often Goes Untold

Starting a family is a lifelong dream for many adults. However, for some couples, conceiving can be a challenging process, often taking longer than expected.
Infertility can be a struggle filled with feelings of isolation, monthly disappointment and the longing for a child. Between 12% and 15% of couples share the experience, according to the National Institutes of .
Here, two infertility experts address the many facets of infertility and available treatments.
Amelia Schaub, MD, a female infertility specialist, notes that the clinical definition of infertility is the inability to achieve a successful pregnancy after having regular, unprotected intercourse for a year. Depending on medical history, it may be necessary to see a fertility specialist sooner. For women over 35, it is recommended to visit a fertility specialist after six months of trying to conceive due to the decline of fertility with age.
Dr. Schaub said a woman’s age is an important factor because “the number and quality of female eggs rapidly declines during our late 30s, regardless of prior pregnancies.”
It’s not always about the woman, of course. According to the NIH, roughly one-third of infertility cases are linked to women, one-third are related to men, and the rest are linked to a cause that can’t be pinned down.
Kevin J. Campbell, MD, a male infertility specialist, said the number of couples with infertility problems has been growing. He points out that it’s tough to know precisely why because there’s no one answer.
It could partly be due to better health care leading to more diagnoses. Awareness has increased, so more people are getting tested. The process of identifying infertility complications has become faster and more accessible. More patients now have access to at-home tests.
Lifestyle also plays a role. Dr. Schaub lists smoking, excess caffeine and alcohol, processed foods, microplastics and insufficient sleep or exercise among the many things that can affect fertility.
No matter the cause of infertility, the news can be heartbreaking for all patients.
“This can be a very emotional process. It’s important to have your spouse and/or support system,” Dr. Campbell said. “Some couples talk to a psychologist and try reaching out to others to see how they are coping.”
Genetics, medication, history and age can affect both sexes. In particular, women may have trouble conceiving because of tubal blockage or lack of ovulation that could stem from many issues, including polycystic ovarian syndrome, or PCOS.
“PCOS is quite a common diagnosis. It affects about 10% of all women of reproductive age, so about one in 10 women,” Dr. Schaub said. “Women with PCOS are also at higher risk for cardiovascular disease, diabetes, anxiety, depression, obstructive sleep apnea and endometrial cancer.”
Male infertility can even be caused by a harsh work environment.
“We see people who are line cooks, firefighters or police officers, people who are maybe around a lot of heat near their testicles for a long period of time, or they work abnormal hours,” Dr. Campbell said. “So, their body is not regulating their hormones as ideally as we would like.”
Supplements and daily medications can be fertility troublemakers, including medicines used to treat high blood pressure, autoimmune disease, urinary flow, mood stabilizers and antibiotics.
Typical exams used to diagnose women include an ultrasound or evaluation of hormonal levels and fallopian tubes. For men, a review of their medical history, physical examination, blood work and semen analysis are in order.
Dr. Schaub said the jury is out on whether new, popular weight-loss injections impede fertility.
“We don’t know the safety of any GLP-1 analogue medications during pregnancy, so it’s not recommended to take these during pregnancy. Current recommendations are to be on reliable contraception while taking these medications, and to stop these medications two months before trying to conceive,” she said. “That being said, I see patients who are planning for pregnancy in the future, and those types of medications are helping them control their diabetes and lose weight, so they’re setting patients up for a healthy pregnancy in the future, after discontinuation.”
Common infertility treatments for women include oral medications, intrauterine inseminations and in vitro fertilization, orIVF, treatment. Men can expect medication, hormone boosters and sometimes surgery.
Lastly, if you can improve your general health, you should.
“I tell patients that diet, sleep, stress reduction and exercise can naturally increase your fertility. Easier said than done,” Dr. Campbell said. “Your fertility is kind of a marker of overall health. So, if you can improve your overall health, then in theory, you can improve your fertility.”
Infertility awareness is growing, but patients still have misconceptions.
Many blame themselves, Dr. Campbell said.
“People ask, ‘What did I do?’ or ‘What’s the cause?’ when there’s no definite answer or reason.”
Another misconception is that everyone’s body works precisely the same way. For instance, a group of friends might all smoke, but only one is infertile.
Another is that IVF treatment is effective for everyone, regardless of age.
“People often don't realize with IVF, we're still working within the restraints of the egg and sperm quality and quantity,” Dr. Schaub said. “It’s a really effective treatment option, but it’s not a guarantee that it works for everybody. Success rates decrease with IVF as you get older.”
is researching ways to preserve the fertility of other affected populations.
is part of a national study by 16-plus health systems looking to preserve future fertility for boys undergoing cancer treatment, which can disrupt their fertility as adults. They don’t yet have sperm that can be frozen for future use.
“So, along with other groups we’re collaborating with, we can take a testicular biopsy of a pre-pubertal male if they’re getting the procedure before undergoing chemo,” Dr. Campbell said. “Then it can be stored for future use.”
Both doctors emphasized the importance of consulting an infertility specialist.
“Your OBGYN may be a great starting place,” Dr. Schaub said, “but being specialized in this area, an infertility specialist is able to do more testing and offer more treatment options.”